If you stay on the Internet long enough, you will start to get emails offering stuff that seems just too good to be true. Before you think too much about the offer, if you seem to be getting something for nothing, or for far more than the effort you would put into it, rest assured that it is not a valid offer. Today, I’m going to look at some of these scams and common Internet myths.

“Make Money Fast” chain letters

For decades now, people have been getting chain letters in their mailboxes. With the rise of email, now we are getting these chain letters in our inboxes, too. You’ve seen them before. The message arrives with a list of people, and you are supposed to send some money–usually $5 – $10–to the people at the top of the list. Since most people aren’t going to just send out money like that, the chain letter appeals to your greed by telling you to remove the top name on the list and add yourself to the bottom of the list. Now you email or send out the chain letter to as many people as you know or can find. The idea is that they will send the money to the top people, remove the first name, add themselves to the bottom, and the process continues. Eventually your name will reach the top, and you will get gazillions of dollars sent to you.

Sound too good to be true? It is. This type of chain letter is a scam. Not only is it a pyramid scheme that benefits only the few people who jump on it at the first, it is also illegal, and the post office frowns heavily on such activity. Do you want the local Postmaster to go all postal on you for breaking the law? I’m sure you don’t.

Sometimes these scams will tell you that it’s OK to send cash through the post (it’s not legal), or that they are 100% legal because the money is being sent via PayPal (it’s not legal), or that this pyramid scheme is legal because you’re buying a pamphlet or service from them (it’s still not legal).

I have already written up my feelings about pyramid schemes, but you can read more about the “Make Money Fast” type of chain letter at StopSpam.org, or the funny Make Money Fast Hall of Humiliation where they publicly mock morons who try these illegal scams.

Nigerian 419 Scams

Have you received a letter from some barrister in Africa telling you that someone died there who had millions of dollars in the bank? If you act now, they’ll cut you in for a percentage of the money if you pretend to be the next of kin for this guy. These deals are not honest, but because they appeal to human greed and dishonesty, there will always be a few people who will take the bait. After all, 10% of a $25 million prize is still a good piece of change.

These are often called Nigerian 419 scams because 4-1-9 is the section of the Nigerian penal code that prohibits these advanced fee scams. The U.S. Secret Service explains some commonly used tactics of these scammers:

  • An individual or company receives a letter or fax from an alleged “official” representing a foreign government or agency;
  • An offer is made to transfer millions of dollars in “over invoiced contract” funds into your personal bank account;
  • You are encouraged to travel overseas to complete the transaction;
  • You are requested to provide blank company letterhead forms, banking account information, telephone/fax numbers;
  • You receive numerous documents with official looking stamps, seals and logo testifying to the authenticity of the proposal;
  • Eventually you must provide up-front or advance fees for various taxes, attorney fees, transaction fees or bribes;
  • Other forms of 4-1-9 schemes include: c.o.d. of goods or services, real estate ventures, purchases of crude oil at reduced prices, beneficiary of a will, recipient of an award and paper currency conversion.

Because appealing to greed is so effective, this scam has spread out from Nigeria and other countries in Africa to different parts of the world. I have seen 419-style scams originating from areas of the Middle East, Asia and Europe. And I only see it getting worse over time.

But not all 419 news is dark and gloomy. There are also people who are doing their best to waste the scammers’ time and money. Among these, 419Eater.com is my favorite. The people on this site convince the scammers to send photos of themselves holding up silly signs or committing silly acts. The two pictures above are from 419Eater.com, showing the scammers being scammed. I also suggest reading some of the letters in the archives, so you can see how much fun people have had messing with scammers’ heads. I recommend The Church of Bread and Wine and The Road to Nowhere accounts from the letters archives as prime examples of scammer-baiting.

“Send this to everyone you know!”

Every so often, I get an email with a bazillion RE: and FWD: tags on it. Inside is some warning about a computer virus or some “cool deal you can’t miss out on!”, and somewhere in the message is the command, “Forward this on to everyone you know.” Before you obediently forward the message to every email address you can find, stop and think for a bit. Is this a message that 100% of the recipients will appreciate or need? And how embarrassed will you be when someone replies with a link to a site that completely debunks the message?

Some of these messages promise lots of money from Bill Gates or free flights from Delta Air Lines if you forward the news to enough people–don’t believe it. Some messages warn about a terrible virus that none of the anti-virus scanners can catch–don’t believe it.

And above all, don’t forward the message to everyone you know.

If you get a message and you suspect that it might be bogus or an urban legend (and those two are not mutually exclusive), the first thing to do is spend a few minutes researching it. A quick Google search will usually turn something up. Or you can go to snopes.com and see if it shows up there. I like to go to the What’s New page every week or so to see what sort of emails are flying around.

Basically, if you see an email exhorting you to forward it to everyone you know, don’t. If you must forward something–and I admit, I like forwarded emails when they are funny–send them to specific people who will enjoy them.

And while I’m giving out free advice: learn how to BCC.

I don’t go for multi-level marketing schemes. I don’t care whether the MLM is peddling vitamins, water purifiers, lotions, or solid gold bricks, I won’t take part in it. Both individuals and the U.S. government have spoken out against MLMs, but people still go for them because they promise lots of money.

MLMs don’t work in the long run because they are fundamentally unstable pyramid schemes. You buy into the program, get some other people to buy in under you, then they get others to buy in under them, etc. It doesn’t take very long to realize that the numbers don’t work. Let’s play with a simple pyramid, with each participant getting 10 people below them, and calculate how many people are added in each iteration of the MLM.

1st 1
2nd 10
3rd 100
4th 1,000
5th 10,000
6th 100,000
7th 1,000,000
8th 10,000,000
9th 100,000,000
10th 1,000,000,000
11th 10,000,000,000

At the 11th iteration, we have reached a total of over 11 billion people in the MLM. Since that is obviously greater than the current population of Earth, you can see that a simple MLM can swiftly grow faster than the available number of people on the planet. You could artificially limit growth by allowing only four people in a participant’s downstream group, but this only prolongs the inevitable growth. If you limited each iteration to four times the size of the previous one, you would grow past the human population in the 14th iteration, only three more than in the example above. All of this assumes that the widget or service sold by the MLM is something that every living person wants and will buy. There isn’t a single item on earth that everyone is willing to purchase–not even water. If you don’t believe me, do your best to come up with one and let me know.

Pyramid schemes are not anything new. These schemes are sometimes referred to as “Ponzi schemes,” after Charles Ponzi who developed a huge investment scheme in 1919-1920 before it blew up, as these schemes inevitably do. While it was possible for investors to make fantastic profits after 45 or 90 days, Ponzi constantly relied on a new influx of investors to pay off the previous ones whose payments were coming due. A modern revival of the Ponzi scheme is the “make money fast” letters and emails that continuously make the rounds on the Internet. Most of these never get anywhere, but sometimes these schemes have disastrous effects, such as the Ponzi scheme that trashed the nation of Albania in the 1990s.

We may scoff at how the Albanians fell victim to a Ponzi scheme, but here in the United States we have our own inherently unstable pyramid called Social Security. Some have argued that Social Security doesn’t qualify as an actual Ponzi scheme, but there can be no argument that Social Security relies on the money from current workers to pay benefits for previous generations. Back when President Roosevelt started Social Security, there were sixteen wage earners for every person receiving benefits. The current ratio is about three workers for each recipient, and the number of wage earners continues to drop. This ain’t good.

Here is what the President said in his State of the Union address:

The best way to keep Social Security a rock-solid guarantee is not to make drastic cuts in benefits, not to raise payroll tax rates, not to drain resources from Social Security in the name of saving it. Instead, I propose that we make the historic decision to invest the surplus to save Social Security.

Specifically, I propose that we commit 60% of the budget surplus for the next 15 years to Social Security, investing a small portion in the private sector just as any private or state pension would do. This will earn a higher return and keep Social Security sound for 55 years.

This declaration was greeted with applause and cheers by the audience. The catch is
that I just quoted President Clinton’s 1999 State of the Union address. When President Bush
pointed out the oncoming collapse of Social Security in his 2005 State of the Union address, the Democrats who had cheered President Clinton on the same subject only six years before, instead muttered, griped, and complained that the President was being reactionary. I’ve created a 85kb mp3 sound file of the Democrats grumbling during President Bush’s speech. It seems the Democrats no longer agree that Social Security is a looming disaster, though they lauded President Clinton’s call for a similar fix.

Social Security has been called the “third rail” of politics; similar to the electrified third rail used in subway systems, anyone who as much as touches this political topic is in for a great shock. But is Social Security a good deal? If it were to be proposed today, it would never be accepted by the people. Don’t believe me? Would you agree to an insurance policy that would generate less than a 2% growth of your investment, and at your death the unspent balance goes not to your beneficiaries, but reverts to the government to be spent as it sees fit? If you are honestly excited about such a deal, I want to sell you your next car.

I could almost like Social Security if the money I was earning were to go into a secure account with an interest rate of 2% over inflation. You could think of it as a forced savings account. The problem is that there is no trust fund or lockbox on Social Security money. At the moment there is more money going into Social Security than is needed to pay current expenses, but rather than setting the extra money aside to earn interest, government officials have taken the money and spent it. In its place they have been writing IOUs, promising to pay back the money at some future date. And that date never comes. As P. J. O’Rourke said, “Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”

So what will you see in the next few months? President Bush and the Republicans will push for ways to make Social Security better, and Democrats will vilify and nay-say every idea they bring up. After all, it will be easier for the Democrats to bury their heads in the sand and pretend that the pyramid scheme we call Social Security will continue to be a rock-solid investment — as solid an investment as Charles Ponzi’s Securities Exchange Company ever was.