I’m not Catholic, so I don’t celebrate Lent or the practice of abstaining from meat on Friday. I’m not Jewish, so I don’t observe kosher laws. I’m not Muslim, so I don’t bow to Mecca five times a day to pray. And I’m not Green, so I don’t bother with Earth Hour or Earth Day. I’m not saying that these religious observances are bad, but since I’m not part of any of these faiths, their practices don’t apply to me.

And yes, being Green, in the capitalized sense of the word, is a religious observance with its own practices like Earth Day and Earth Hour. These high holy days of the Greens celebrate their deity, the earth. And in the case of Earth Hour, it is a celebration of self-denial similar to that of Lent as they turn off their lights for the span of one hour. Why bother with the 40 days of self-denial of Lent when you can feel the glow of self-righteousness with just one hour’s effort? So being Green is not only a religion, it’s a smug religion. How can I believe otherwise when the meaningless effort of turning off the lights for one hour is one of the central tenets of the faith? It is a literal plunging from light into darkness and done in a way that shows off one’s participation to others.

But not everyone who participates in Earth Hour does so out of religious fervor. Some people participate because of peer pressure, while others do so out of an attempt to curry favor with the faithful. They fear the backlash that may occur if they don’t participate visibly.

I’m not Green, so I don’t bother with Earth Hour. My friend calls it “Human Achievement Hour,” and he celebrates by turning on all his lights and basking in the glow of human achievement. That’s the kind of observance I can agree with because I believe in the power of human beings to make their lives better and rise above the limitations of a primitive existence.

Watch the following Earth Hour video, and tell me you don’t see the religious fervor in the faces of the faithful. This is clearly a missionary effort to reach out to the unbelieving.

“Do it for global warming.” And ignore that more and more evidence is coming out that human-caused global warming is bunk.

At 8:30pm today, people panicking over the concept of climate change proposed pulling the plug for an hour. I have a simple response — Screw you, hippies! I’m running my dryer!

Earth Hour, as this is called, is a meaningless bit of feel-goodery with the goal of raising awareness of global warming climate change. In actuality, it will accomplish little. Those who are already in the camp of human-caused climate change will not have their feelings changed. And those of us who don’t buy the propaganda will likewise not have our position changed.

I heard a brief sound bite on the radio that astounded me. Here’s what it was as best I can remember:

“The science is settled. Global warming is real. Humans are causing it, and we can fix it.”

Boy howdy, talk about whoppers! First, the science is far from settled. Science is never settled. Second, the Earth has cooled off after decades of warming up. If you have noticed, the warning cries of evil global warming have morphed into the bête noire of climate change, which is so much more useful. Whether the global temperature goes up or down, they may point to the change and proclaim their prediction of global climate change have come true. Third, if you think that climate change is caused by mankind’s actions, particularly CO2, then check out the following greenhouse gases graphic:

Greenhouse gases

So, 3.4% of 3.62% of 2% of the Earth’s atmosphere is human-caused CO2. Doing the math, that comes up to slightly more than 0.002% of the Earth’s atmosphere is human-caused CO2. Tell me again, how are we responsible for the Earth’s warming up when our CO2 comprises two thousandths of a percent of the atmosphere? That’s a single penny out of fifty dollars. It doesn’t make sense that that 0.002% of greenhouse gases is the cause of global climate change when CO2 levels have been much higher in the past. Humanity isn’t the cause of global warming; the cause is the sun. To believe that mankind is the cause of global warming is to fall prey to a combination of ignorance and hubris.

And fourth, since humanity isn’t the cause of global warming (or global cooling), then there isn’t any need for humanity to fix that which humanity isn’t causing.

But let’s turn off our lights for an hour in a meaningless gesture to ask for a useless fix for a problem we aren’t even causing. Yeah, that’s really important.