• Telling people “Don’t touch that!” only to watch them touch it seconds later. They heard me. I saw them look at me when I said it, but they did it anyway. When I asked why they did it, the response was “Uh… I don’t know.”
  • Men who go into a restroom stall to pee when there are urinals available. This always happens after I have the extra-spicy burrito for lunch.
  • Animated Internet ads. Few things will make me less likely to buy something than an ad with a dancing alien or yet another Flash ad proclaiming “Shoot the [whatever] to win!”
  • People who talk loudly on their cell phones in public places. Nobody in the restaurant cares about the results of your cousin’s colon polyp surgery. Trust me on this. While I can understand the usefulness of having a cell phone during an emergency, or standing in the store and calling home to ask whether the wife needs a vanilla or chocolate cake mix, I don’t understand the overwhelming urge to just call people and talk loudly in public about private and personal things.
  • People who don’t shut off their cell phones in the theater. I like it when theaters run a little reminder before the movie asking people to silence their cell phones. If you are waiting for a critical call, what are you doing watching a movie? At least put it on vibrate. And go out in the lobby to take your call!
  • People who bring little kids or babies to late-night movies. I once went to a midnight showing of Dracula, and at most every scene with loud noise a little baby would start crying. Either spend the money to hire a babysitter, or wait for the DVD.
  • Commercials at movie theaters. I recently saw the fifth Harry Potter movie and counted more commercials than previews, and there were seven previews!
  • Commercials on DVDs! Argh! I bought the movie because I wanted to watch the movie, not wade through a load of previews or product commercials. The best DVDs are the ones that auto-play the movie when you put them in.
  • People who insist on talking to you while they eat. With their mouths full of food. Spraying crumbs and half-chewed bits all over. Eww. Happily it has been many months since this last happened, but eww.
  • People who can’t keep a secret. The New York Times was able to review the seventh Harry Potter novel and not give away the ending, but they couldn’t keep a secret involving national security. And don’t give me that tired “the people have a right to know” excuse.
  • Mosquitoes. Is there anyone not annoyed by them?
  • Bloggers who don’t post often enough. Uh… oh crap!

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