As I sat catching up on news this morning, my monitor flickered, and the Drudge Report changed into an alternate reality version of the Drudge Report. I could tell this was an alternate reality because everyone pictured on Drudge had a goatee. But here’s the first part of the story that caught my eye:

Washington Authorizes New Covert Action Against Hessians
December 22, 1776 6:29 PM

Brian Ross and Richard Esposito Report:

The Continental Army has received secret approval to mount a covert “black” operation to destabilize the Hessian garrison in Trenton, New Jersey, current and former officials in the Continental Army tell the Blotter on ABCNews.com.

The sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the subject, say General Washington has signed a “lethal General finding” that puts into motion an army plan that reportedly includes a coordinated campaign of sneaking across the Delaware River on Christmas to assault the Hessian’s stronghold when they least expect it.

The screen flickered again and the story shimmered as if my monitor had just been degaussed, which is a pretty cool trick since it’s an LCD. I could hardly believe it, but the story had changed on my screen:

Roosevelt Authorizes New Terror Weapon Against Axis Powers
November 22, 1940 6:29 PM

Brian Ross and Richard Esposito Report:

The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has received secret presidential approval to mount a covert “black” operation to develop a devastating new terror weapon, current and former officials in the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers tell the Blotter on ABCNews.com.

The sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the subject, say President Roosevelt has signed a “very lethal presidential finding” that puts into motion a U.S. Army Corps of Engineers plan that reportedly includes a coordinated campaign of research to develop an “implosive-explosive sub-molecular device.”

At this point I knew I had to be hallucinating caused by after-effects from the pork chile verde I ate last night. After a quick drink of water in the kitchen, I was happy to see that The Blotter entry on ABC had stopped shifting around and was finally stable. But the news was just as disturbing:

Bush Authorizes New Covert Action Against Iran
May 22, 2007 6:29 PM

Brian Ross and Richard Esposito Report:

The CIA has received secret presidential approval to mount a covert “black” operation to destabilize the Iranian government, current and former officials in the intelligence community tell the Blotter on ABCNews.com.

The sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the subject, say President Bush has signed a “nonlethal presidential finding” that puts into motion a CIA plan that reportedly includes a coordinated campaign of propaganda, disinformation and manipulation of Iran’s currency and international financial transactions.

Well, whatever secret cover this plan once enjoyed has now been blown sky-high, thanks to the reporting of Ross and Esposito. Are there any other secrets they are poised to reveal to one and all? Maybe they have some combat plans for fighting the Taliban remnants in Afghanistan they’d like to pass on. Are there any secret discussions between the U.S. and British governments that Brian Ross and Richard Esposito would like to air? *sniff* Nothing quite like the smell of the American press leaking secrets to the world. Good for ratings, don’t you know?

My brief trip to alternate dimensions is over, but I am convinced that members of the mainstream media live in an alternate reality all their own.

Leave a Reply