I deal with spam every day, but my inbox is almost always spam free because I use a kickin’ anti-spam program. Since I work in the anti-spam industry, I got a bit of humor from NetworkComputing.com placed on my desk by a coworker.

Top 11 Punishments We’d Like To See For Spammers

11) Give their home and business phone numbers to telemarketers

10) Make them invest all their profits in the bogus companies they promote

9) Distribute a script that converts spam to snail mail that’s delivered to the originator marked “Postage Due”

8) Make them write “Thou shall not spam” 100 times for every e-mail they send

7) Give them a paper cut for every piece of spam they send

6) Make them lick all the bulk mail envelopes at the post office

5) Put them on an all-SPAM(tm) diet for one year

4) Make them hand-write an apology to each recipient

3) Add their names to terrorist watch lists so they get “special treatment” when they fly

2) Force them to watch the movie “You’ve Got Mail” over and over again, “Clockwork Orange”-style

1) Tattoo a scarlet “S” to each one’s forehead

I like these, particularly #5, but I felt the list was missing a certain je ne sais quoi, so I put my own top punishment on a yellow sticky and added it to the list hanging on my wall.

0) Kick ‘em in the nuts. Hard.

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