There is an old joke that has been told about many different people. It basically goes: “How can you tell if [person] is lying? His lips are moving.” Earlier this year Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told us that Iran was pursuing nuclear technology for purely peaceful reasons. Notice Ahmadinejad’s lips moving? Yep. Lies. And here is the proof from the “see no evil, hear no evil, say no evil, have no clue” IAEA organization.

New traces of plutonium and enriched uranium — potential material for atomic warheads — have been found in a nuclear waste facility in Iran, a revelation that came Tuesday as the Iranian president boasted his country’s nuclear fuel program will soon be completed.

If the IAEA can find plutonium in Iran, and they can’t find their own butts using both hands, a map, and three Sherpas, then what does this tell us about Iran’s intentions? This discovery is interesting since the only peaceful uses for plutonium are in outmoded pacemakers or in deep space probes like Cassini and Galileo. And we all know that Iran leads the world in the manufacture of old pacemakers and probes for outer space.

So if Iran isn’t using plutonium for those two peaceful uses, then what is the only use left? Weapons of mass destruction. The discovery of plutonium in Iran gives me a nice warm fuzzy. He tells us he wants peace. He tells us that the Iranian nuclear program is only for peace. And he tells us that he has no territorial claims to make in Europe. Wait. That last one was a statement by Adolph Hitler in the run-up to World War II. But there’s no similarity between Hitler and Ahmadinejad. None whatsoever. Well, other than their desire to rule the world and kill Jews, but those are just coincidences. Really. Ahmadinejad is a man of peace, and he would never lead a rally chanting “Death to Israel” and “Death to America.”

And if we believe Ahmadinejad is telling us the truth, then the joke is on us.

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