The controversy over same-sex marriage is over! And the solution has come from an unexpected source: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Brad Pitt, ever the social activist, says he won’t be marrying Angelina Jolie until the restrictions on who can marry whom are dropped.

“Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able,” the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine’s October issue, on newsstands Sept. 19.

With this statement, Pitt and Jolie have shown that they are not just shacking up — they are doing something noble. How could they be involved in something as restrictive and discriminatory as marriage until everyone “who wants to be married is legally able”?

If you have ever wondered whether Pitt and Jolie are in favor of polygamy, you now know that they are. If you have ever wondered if they are in favor of removing restrictions like close blood ties and age as impediments to marriage, you now know. And if you have ever wondered whether they are in favor of clearing marriage limitations related to being alive or a different species, now you know. Oh, and I guess they are against laws prohibiting same-sex marriages, too.

In related news, a couple of USC researchers say, “Celebrities have more narcissistic personality traits than the general population, and people with narcissistic tendencies seem to be attracted to the entertainment industry rather than the industry creating narcissists.” I guess you could say that narcissistic people are the types who crave attention and make grandstanding gestures. Normal people would either get married or shack up without needing to make a public statement about it, but I guess it takes the unbridled narcissism of a “celebrity” to turn shacking up into a matter of principle.

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