Well, it’s Oscar night, and the Hollywood glitterati will gather and swoon about their achievements. They’ll clap and applaud themselves in a multi-hour circle-jerk of self-aggrandizement. And I don’t care.

I love watching movies, but I have no desire to see any of the five nominated for Best Picture this year. In case you didn’t see these movies (most people haven’t) and have missed the gush in the news, here are the five nominees for the Best Picture category:

For a comparison, and to refresh your memories, here are the ten top grossing films released in 2005:

Gross Movie
$380,262,555 Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)
$288,060,759 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
$287,153,504 The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)
$234,280,354 War of the Worlds (2005)
$216,326,425 King Kong (2005)
$209,218,368 Wedding Crashers (2005)
$206,456,431 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
$205,343,774 Batman Begins (2005)
$193,136,719 Madagascar (2005)
$186,336,103 Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

Here we have two groups of movies: the first judged by the inner circle of Hollywood to be the best, and the second voted on by moviegoers as worth their money to the tune of almost 2.5 BILLION dollars. Intelligentsia vs. hoi polloi. And speaking as one of the hoi polloi, I have seen eight of these ten top-grossing movies. I will eventually see
King Kong, but I have no desire to see Wedding Crashers.

I also have no desire to watch the Oscars tonight. I’m surprised I cared enough even to write this much about them.

p.s. I will make one Oscar prediction: there will be no mention of Theo van Gogh–his life, his work or his untimely demise–just as there was no mention of him last year.

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